It’s been a while since I last wrote a blog post on Heresy, mainly because work had all but denied any hobby since September ’23. This continued in January to March ’24 due to Degree requirements. In the last few weeks I’ve begun crafting lists again, and trying to refocus on painting as a relaxing method to the stresses of life in general. This has seen the emergence of a new problem set….

Crafting the Narrative

Back when I started Horus Heresy, back in 1.0 days, I crafted armies with an underlying reason for each of the units to be in each formation or list and what the theme of the army would be. I wrote a narrative to start this process by scrawling into a notepad or some time spent typing over-typing in Microsoft Word. It became a useful tool for defining Praetor or Consuls attitudes, and if the army would be aggressive, cautious, or a blend when used in game. Similarly, some of the great moments of my 1.0 gaming was underpinned by decisions made in game based on those initial narratives – such as an aggressive Warlord seeking to earn his Primarchs favour again, after being shunned for his failrues, charging into a challenge that would be difficult to win – and then winning.

I still carry out this process in Heresy 2.0 and I can generally describe the narrative themes throughout most of the army lists currently living in my Quartermaster Cloud files. However, I’m starting to think this style of writing is a dying thing in Heresy.

The Emergence of Bullshit and Meta Fuckarsery

Look around your community. How many people are running 2-3 Contemptors, and/or 1-2 Whirlwind Scorpius, and/or a 10-man Lascannon Heavy Support Squad, and/or 1-2 squads of Nemesis Bolter Vets/Recons and at least half a squad of Terminators with Thunderhammers on average? I’d wager quite a few, if not all.

The problem with this isn’t that people are running these units per-se. They’re criminally undercosted. They have solid rules that have tangible effects in game outcomes. They’re attractive as a result. Sure you could try using Seekers to deliver decapitation strikes to the enemy command structure, but why not just use those Nemesis Vets/Recons to do it for little risk to yourself? Sure you could run some heavy firepower on Tank chassis, but why bother when a Lascannon squad can wipe them off the table without even breaking sweat, in your turn, and then kill another tank in theirs. Sure you could run some big blobs of Terminators, but why not just run a few extra Contemptors for the same effect. Why run Seekers when Vets/Recon squads with Nemesis bolters do an arguably better job for cheaper. If you run three Contemptors at 3,000 points, you’d be hard pressed to not have at least two of them left on the table at the end of Turn Four, while your opponent is either mostly in the land of Imfuckedville or has taken three Contemptors themselves and you’re now at Contemptor-stalemate whilst your troops attempt to Kite them and score objectives.

The problem is that narrative armies are often absolutely fucked by people running these types of units en masse. I run two Leviathan Dreadnoughts with my Sons of Horus, which sets me back a horrifying 650 points – or three Contemptors worth. They never return that investment, often running into three Contemptors and dying relatively easily.

Meta is a term that I am never a fan of, because everyone has a Meta in their groups and it differs from other groups Meta in generalistic terms. However, the overarching Meta of Heresy 2.0 isn’t really narrative play anymore – reinforced by the fact you don’t often see the “less optimised” units, and even the “good” units (like Leviathans and Deredeos) are often relegated to storage boxes whilst the undercosted stuff wipes tables. If you do see the good units, they’re almost always tack-ons to make a feel-bad list a tiny bit more palatable to opponents.

I get the reasoning behind it. You’re taking competitive units to a non-competitive game, just in case your opponent brings competitive units. The same inevitably occurs in your opponents mind, which is why you see the overarching Meta become the Meta for the game. It’s the same reason why I often write a narrative, write a list and then scrap them.

List Fatigue and Legion Costs

In the last month I’ve written around thirty lists for the Sons of Horus and only four remain.

Of those, one is pure dark comedy trash – with a Falchion and two Proteus (ferrying Little Horus and some Chieftans and some Reavers up the table) eating most of the points up. It’s comical though, because the Falchion will delete Tanks, it won’t delete Contemptors, which is why I run one in that list too. Chieftans aren’t wonderful, neither are Reavers (who are very expensive for low survivablity and comparatively low output) and those two Land Raiders will die quite quickly to ubiquitous Lascannon squads. So why keep it?

Because it’s fun. I love a big tank. I love a nice Character from the books. I love Black Reaving Rite of War and the theme of two blobs of Reavers bombing out of transports to decimate their opponents. It means I lose most games playing that list, apart from the odd player who, like me, likes a showcase of Panzers supported by specialised infantry duking it out. I’d love to get my Mastodon on the Table with Horus running out of it with Justaerin, but at 710 points for a lascannon Mastodon alone. it kind of makes it impossible in most games and that’s before you get to how poorly performing the Mastodon is for those points.

My Thunderhawk hasn’t seen the table in a while. Firstly, a shelf collapse lent it some damage that hasn’t really been repaired to a decent standard yet, but mainly because I’ve seen too many shot down on arrival. There’s no fun in picking up your army centrepiece model. placing it on the table and then immediately removing it again.

The most punchy list still isn’t very good. I have four Dreadnoughts. Two Leviathan, Two Deredeos with Arachnus Lascannons. These are supported by Abaddon and some Justaerin (Powerfists and Chainfists – which costs only 40 points less than all Hammers), some Tactical Space Marine Squads, some Javelins and some Seekers with Krakens – because when was the last time you saw a squad of those?

As a result, I find myself making these lists and thinking “that’s pretty much on theme for Sons of Horus”. Then realising how terrible the army will be to play because any tank will be deleted, any infantry will be mulched by multiple Contemptors, or Thunder-fucked into the ground with Terminator Squads full of Thunderhammers and that lovely HQ Warlord model I’ve put hours into painting will likely be dead to sniper fire the second they wander outside for the first time.

About the only time I enjoy Heresy games is within my close friends group and when we are putting down ridiculous armies at Apocalypse games.

The overarching Meta in Horus Heresy is exhausting. It’s debilitating. Having to remind players that they probably shouldn’t be running three Contemptors at 3,000 points is ridiculous. It’s reducing the game to virtually identikit armies, with differing paint schemes and it’s ruining the thing you used to get with Heresy 1.0 – differences. Even though Heresy is Space Marine versus Space Marine in the main, Heresy 1.0 had genuinely Narrative Legion and Legion Character rules (just look at 1.0 Sons of Horus compared to 2.0 to see what we lost) and meant that a Yellow painted army, looked and acted vastly differently from a Green painted army.

Unfortunately, for me, the fun of Heresy dies in List Fatigue (and I haven’t even gotten onto how ridiculous Retinue costing rules are) and never really reanimates even when gaming. It’s very clear that Loyalists got the love this Edition (Traitors win most events sure, but then most events are really tournaments with the same armies of the same units painted differently)and that Games Workshop is incapable of delivering a balanced ruleset or even FAQs in a timely manner.

The answer in the short term is to nerf the Contemptors et al criminally undercosted units probably by simply raising their cost. Case in point – how many Ultramarines or Alpha Legion players still use Fulmentarus? Exactly.

Narrative Heresy is dead, so the least GW could do is make it fun by balancing out the criminally undercosted units with the rest of unit entries and giving us some variance in army other than paint colour. Whilst they’re there, pop on Battle Hardened (1) to Justaerin to make them worth their points and do something to make Reavers better for their cost too – pretty please.